It may not be the most romantic part of your blooming relationship, but a prenuptial agreement can protect your financial future if that bloom fades. Whether you're Donald and Ivana or John and Jane, here's what you need to know before walking down the aisle.
By Brad Marcoux
Most people take marriage seriously, and hold high hopes for their new relationships. Little wonder then that prenuptial agreements aren't high on any betrothed's desirability list. After all, thinking about a prenuptial agreement is often feared akin to planning the end of a relationship before it's even begun. But in these times of soaring divorce rates and uncertain financial stability, it only makes sense that people should be concerned with such practicalities, dreary though they may be. While deciding between a Caribbean or a Mediterranean honeymoon is undoubtedly more pleasurable, if there's any uncertainty about your forthcoming marriage, financial or otherwise, then you should consider creating a prenuptial agreement.
Simply put, a prenuptial (also known as an antenuptial) agreement is a legal agreement signed by you and your future spouse. Normally, they deal with straightforward financial and legal issues in the event of a divorce or a death -- what will be done with the house, any stocks, bonds, or other such marital assets. They might also include some extras like custody arrangements, spousal support, or even what happens to the family pet. According to Lester Wallman, a partner in the Manhattan law firm of Wallman, Greenberg, Gasman and McKnight, and author of Cupid, Couples & Contracts: A Guide to Living Together, Prenuptial Agreements, and Divorce (MasterMedia, $12.95), an agreement can be specifically tailored to the couple's needs and wants. Finances are generally the main focus, but even the pettiest details can be included. "One client insisted the toilet seat be put down," says Wallman. This example, while extreme, illustrates a point: anything and everything under the sun can go into a "prenup." So if you feel the need to restrict your intended's bathroom privileges, or outline a schedule for walking the dog, go ahead and have it included. Just be aware that such "extras" can be legally murky and expensive, and so should generally be considered as more psychologically reassuring than legally binding.
Although most agreements are relatively straightforward, this doesn't mean that they are simple. The emotional cost alone could be prohibitive: 10% of people who begin to pursue a prenuptial arrangement decide against the marriage because of the strain it causes. Arguing that such relationships wouldn't have lasted anyway doesn't make the concept any less daunting, either. "Prenuptial agreements are very stressful," warns Curtis Bennett Ross, a Chicago CPA and attorney in private practice. "But they are also very legitimate, especially if one of the pair has been through divorce in the past." It may be seem a foolish idea to put your relationship at risk over finances, but consider this: if the two of you are unable to sit down and talk rationally about your needs and fears when your relationship is good, then how bad might it be if things ever turn sour? To read more, click here.
